Wedding planning prepares you for one unforgettable day. These conversations prepare you for everything that comes after.
Marriage Preparation: Building a Strong Foundation
PHOTO: Blackwell Photo + Video
AS SEEN IN THE 2026 FALL + WINTER PRINT EDITION OF NOW WEDDINGS MAGAZINE
Learning how to prepare for marriage involves more than planning a beautiful wedding. It means having honest conversations about expectations, understanding how to navigate disagreements, and building healthy communication habits before saying “I do.”
Cecilia Daigle of Refresh Group shares expert relationship advice to help engaged couples strengthen their connection and prepare for the life they’ll build together.
Have the Conversations That Make You Squirm
Most couples have no problem discussing flowers or honeymoon plans. The harder conversations are often the ones that matter most.
When asked what every engaged couple should talk about before the wedding, Daigle’s answer was simple:
“The ones that make you squirm a little.”
Money. Family. Sex. Children. Faith. Careers. Personal values. Expectations. In-laws.
She also encourages couples to ask one question that often gets overlooked:
“What do you need from me when life gets really hard?”
“Wedding planning has a way of pushing those conversations to the side,” Daigle says, “but healthy marriages have these open, honest dialogues.”
She believes the conversations couples avoid are often the most important.
“I’d rather see a couple have an awkward conversation before the wedding than a resentful one six months into marriage.”
Expectations Matter More Than You Think
Many newlyweds don’t struggle because of one major issue. Instead, conflict often grows from expectations that were never discussed.
Daigle explains that many people unknowingly expect their spouse to “complete them, fix their childhood pain, never be triggered, or automatically know what they need.”
“I know I brought some of that into my own marriage,” she says.
The turning point came when she and her husband realized:
“Hey…that’s not actually your job.”
She says taking responsibility for their own healing ultimately made their marriage healthier, and it’s something she now sees repeatedly in the couples she works with.
Even everyday disagreements often stem from unspoken expectations.
“Usually it’s not the big dramatic things. It’s all the little expectations nobody talked about that add up to a thousand papercuts.”
Whether it’s finances, household responsibilities, family time, or handling stress, Daigle reminds couples that understanding each other is often more important than immediately finding solutions.
“Sometimes the goal is just understanding each other a little better.”
Learning to Fight Fair
Conflict isn’t a sign something is wrong. It’s part of every healthy relationship.
As Daigle puts it:
“Couples don’t usually fall out of love, they fall out of forgiveness.”
She believes healthy conflict isn’t about avoiding disagreements but learning how to reconnect afterward.
“Apologize. Take responsibility. Don’t keep bringing up something your spouse already owned and worked through.”
She notes that serious issues such as abuse, addiction, infidelity, or ongoing dishonesty require accountability and real change. But for the everyday challenges most couples encounter:
“Forgiveness will take you a lot further than keeping score ever will.”
Feed the Marriage You Want to Grow
Before saying “I do,” Daigle encourages couples to be intentional about the future they’re creating together.
Discuss finances, career goals, family traditions, boundaries, and the life you hope to build together.
“The more clarity you have, the more freedom you create within your marriage.”
She also wishes more couples sought support before problems became crises.
“It’s so much easier to build healthy habits now than try to rebuild trust after years of miscommunication.”
Her final piece of advice is one every engaged couple can carry into marriage:
“Your marriage is going to grow in whatever you feed.”
Invest in honest conversations, forgiveness, laughter, and showing up for one another, even when it’s inconvenient. Those everyday choices, she says, are what build something lasting.
Because while your wedding lasts one day, your marriage is a lifetime.
Cecilia Daigle, LMFT, is the founder of Refresh Group, an integrated mental health and coaching practice offering therapy, coaching, and psychiatric services for people at pivotal moments in life and love.
Refresh Group skips the clichés – combining compassion, honesty, and real-life strategies to help clients break patterns, build healthier relationships, and create lasting change.
The people who come here aren’t always at rock bottom. They’re at the edge of a breakthrough – ready to stop settling, rewrite their patterns, and become who they’re capable of being.
This isn’t the bandage practice. It’s the breakthrough practice. Learn more at therefreshgroup.com
As seen in: NOW Weddings Magazine @nowweddingsmagazine
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